Finally untied myself from that chair...

Since the departure of Erin and Carrie life has slowed down a little but not the climbing. We all woke up early in MontPellier to make sure they made it to the airport on time. After the adventures getting there the night before I was pretty much exhausted and wasn't much for words that morning. I dropped them off at the airport at 7:40AM and began the long trip back to Pierrelongue. The drive back didn't seem nearly as long as the ride down as it always seem like that with driving home. Perhaps is was the fact that there was lots to see along the way as there was daylight.

I arrived back in Pierrelongue at 9:20AM to a sleeping house. Thankful the front door was left open, I let myself in and made coffee as I was not able to nap from the drive back to the gite. Audrey woke up shortly after followed by Adrian. We decided to go to climb near Malaucene on a crag called Rochers Du Groseau. Adrian and I had visited this place once before but I had yet to climb there and the climbing was quite good. We also figured it would be better than fighting the crowds (no bad but still present) over at St Leger.

The interesting thing about Rochers Du Groseau is the limestone, it is of a different sort than all the other cliffs that we have been to. The rock is a creamy white colour and it flakes off into a power substance if it hasn't yet been cleaned. There are also lots of pockets which are spaced at times and not much for foot holds between them. The angle of the rock ranged from overhanging up to about 15 degree to less than vertical.

Since I had been up since 6:30 AM and I had 5 hours of sleep I had the thought to take it easy and let Audrey and Adrian climb the hard stuff. With that in mind warmed up on "Potiron, Citrouille & Cie" - 6a (5.10b) - which Audrey had kindly place the draws in for me. The climb was less than vertical with a pronounced crux requiring you to work you feet high to make a big reach to the next set of had holds.

Adrian warmed up on "Papillon" - 6b/6b+ (5.10d/11a) *** which was a great warm up as it ran the full 30 meters up a series of bulges with small to non-existent feet. Thankfully there are enormous hand holds to allow you to pull up and through the overhanging bulges. The movement was great and if you ever visit Malaucene I would suggest this climb as a must do.

Trying to stick to the program of easier climbing I picked "Touche pas a la belle mere" - 6b (5.10d) *** as my next climb. This climb starts up on some big moves to a small ledge where you make a hand traverse out left on verticle rock with only a tiny foot hold at hip level. I fell off at this point because the sequence is a bit tricky and the way I was doing it was requiring a right hand lock off. The upper section is really good, the holds are big and the sequence still requires some though and footwork. I repeated this climb for the red point (this is when you climb a route more than one until you successfully do it without falling off).

The lack of sleep finally caught up with me at this point and I wondered off to a comfortable place at the crag, bundled up in my Yam coloured belay jacket to ward off the cold wind and took a nap/dozed for a while. As I hover at the brink of sleep I found myself reflecting on how much I was enjoying my time here. It seems that in the past two to three weeks my enjoyment has greatly tapered off. I found my thoughts gravitating the the memories of past summer in Squamish, climbing with friends. I felt the feelings of satisfaction and joy I would get after climbing a long day on the granite there and driving home with a car full of friends. I haven't been experiencing that here of late and I wondered why. Sure, being injured is playing a role in that but I realized that the injury along is not enough to throw me off because last year I did the same thing to my left arm and was still able to enjoy the weekends out.

I realized that my climbing and I in general am living in fear of not being able to perform. I'm placing high expectations on myself and its taking away from simple joy of climbing regardless of the outcome. I'm showing the classic Aries trait of being so focused on the goal that I'm missing the journey to get there which is the most valuable part and also the greatest opportunity to learn. It shows up in my climbing at times when I'm not sure if I can get through the climb, I'll sometimes climb off route to easier holds promotes poor climbing style and habits instead of climbing through what appears to be more difficult but if I climb with good technique then it saves energy and teaches me more. When I do this I climb and get the symbol of success, ticking the climb, but fail to learn or progress in my technique so I will stay at this climbing plateau.

The other outcome of climbing with such high expectations is I don't enjoy it as much. Climbing by chasing grades feels so empty, its just a number, being an engineer as I am I have trained in school to focus on these but what value do the really have. Grades are subjective to begin with and in a sport that as a culture is focused not on competition, which is clearly an attempt to feed the ego, but on our own personal struggle to learn and overcome our personal limitations does this symbol have any meaning? What if I climb 7c (5.12d), does this make me a better person, especially if I didn't enjoy the journey to get there or if I don't discover more about who I am as person what value does that have? If ticking a grade is the only thing then I only have gained a symbol which I can use to show how much better I am at climbing than others; status. This is a reinforcement of a vertical power structure and can't give any value in other domains of my life, it may even detract from. The competition against others instead of a journey of self discovery and might provide insight into other aspects of how I interact with people.

After rousing myself from this meditative slumber I resolved to climb with the feeling I felt from those summer days in Squamish. The affects were immediate. I warmed back up on a climb called "Mistouflouete" - 6a+ (5.10b) *, which had a fun technical start involving a nice sequence on a overhanging bulge. Easy and unremarkable face climbing to finish by reaching above a overhung ledge to climb the belay. The climbing while easier felt much better and enjoyable while not thinking about what if I don't get this climb.

To finish the day I decided to push a little more and see how much I could learn. For the climb I selected a nice line (climb) called "Cayenne" which in the guide book indicated 6c+ (5.11c) but had clearly not been climbed by the author as his comments for the climb were - Not Checked?. The route moved over a series of 15-20 degree overhanging bulges, with two rests in the middle. The route had been worked by someone recently and was all ticked with chalk to indicate hand holds. Some of which proved useful some of which did not.

The challenge of the route was the fact that there was easier climbing on the left and the right of the route which would provide an easier ascent but avoid the more interesting and for me more challenging climbing. To the right was a crack system filled with big holds, loose rock and spider webs. To the right there was a slab section with few holds but less than vertical, playing to my technical abilities. I avoided both of these to pull straight up the line on jugs and focusing on keeping my feet underneath me on what good feet were available but pushing through the core (abs) so as to keep my arms from pumping out (getting to tired to hold on).

After staying the course and pulling through the roofs I clipped the anchor with a smile on my face. A route such as this would have knocked me off at the start of the trip and likely would have caused me to climb off route to find easier holds in the previous days. I would give the climb three stars and grade it 6c (5.11b). I felt satisfied with my day and came down. I also have to mentioned how much I appreciated Audrey encouragement while on the climb. She reminded me of some pretty awesome belay partners I have back come; The Canadian Contingent.

The next day Audrey was due to head back to London on the TGV but we had yet to get on her 7c project at Baume Rousse so that is where we went. It was the busiest we had seen yet as we arrived to find the parking area full. We found a parking space on the other side of the road and hiked up to a the sector Droit Competition where we warmed up on "Bapaat Connexion" 5+ and I got on the first pitch of "La Sirene en Pyjama" which we had yet to climb. This I was glad to get on as it climbed the backside of a cave and then out through the roof. A brilliant 6a+ (5.10b) which completes all the climbing below 7b+ at Baume Rousse.

I hung up my shoes for the day and we focused on getting Audrey her red point on the 7c project she had picked out. Alas, the clock is what beat her as we had to leave by 2:30 PM to get her to the train in Avignon, which she cause by the skin on her teeth as we had an unscheduled stop to pick up her laptop charger. Full point to Adrian who drove like a professional to get her there on time.

Since I had sent my Petzel 70m rope back with Erin and Carrie and I had my Muira's resoled Adrian and I had to make a trip over to SOeScalade to pick them up and I wanted to get a new rope. I picked up a 100m 9.1mm diameter Beal Joker. I'm very excited to try this rope out. It can be used as a single ultra long full rope or a 50m dual rope. I figure if I can avoid the rope drag we can climb any of the fins around here without having to stop for a belay. I also picked up my shoes with now have 5.10 onyx rubber on them so I have a performance shoe and my Vipers will be the warm up and slab shoes because of the softer sole.

To complete the shopping trip Adrian stopped in at Decathlon for me to pick up a dumbell and ice pack for my forearms recovery programs. I have posted requests from climbers on forearm injuries such as the one I'm experiencing and I finally have a good feeling for what I've done to myself. The responses include several articles from Rock and Ice in which a climber and Osteopath has written articles on injuries, causes and treatment for recovery and prevention. My symptoms are consistent with tendonosis which is an overuse injury which causes the tendon to degenerate from micro damage because the attached muscle is too strong. The treatment involves doing eccentric weight training (holding a dumbell and slowly lowering it, then returning to the start position by using the none training hard so that muscle in the training arm doesn't does a load bearing contraction).

The timing for our visitors seems impeccable at this piont since the past three days have been cloudy and raining here. For me this is good as it gives me a chance to work on my recovery exercises and catch up on my blog. I have also been posting to various forums looking to see if there are any climbers driving through Fontainebleau (just outside Paris) on their way to Mello Blocco a bouldering meet a competition in Val Di Mello, Italy. This is a huge festival that attracts thousands of climbers and boulderers each year. I have also asked if I can DJ there so we'll see how that pans out. The organizers said the are considering it.

Hopefully in the next weeks I'll be able to tell you how my forearms are doing. The training seems to indicate it will be months before I'm back at full strength but hopefully I have caught the injury early enough that I can recover more quickly. Last year as I remember it was 4 (June to start Oct) months of reduced climbing before I was pulling hard pain free in Red Rocks. Then again, I never did anything to help recovery since I never was diagnosed.

The following two posts (apr 8th and 9th) cover the rest of the intervening time. Between this one and when the girls hijacked the blog. ;)

Much love for all.